..and so it begins..

Don’t you find it strange how quickly “blogs” have taken off?  There are blogs on just about anything you can think of..even blogs on blogging.  What is the attraction?  Who reads them?  Why?  Who writes them?  Why?

Enough of the questions already.  I’m inclined to think that there isn’t one single, hard fast rule to why people either read or write blogs.  For me, reading them is interesting.  It’s a line into someone’s mind that you might not necessarily have access to otherwise.  What I find fascinating is the level of intimacy some bloggers go to – they explore their deepest thoughts, desires, fears and share their findings with complete strangers, but I totally “get” that.  I’m not without close friends nor a loving family but one thing I do lack is the outlet to explore my own thoughts without prejudice, sympathy, judgement or understanding.

Life is complicated – doesn’t have to be I suppose, but it just is!  Everyone is different and behaves in a different way.  Some like to talk about anything and everything to anyone; others prefer not to share a single thought, keeping so private that people have no idea who they are interacting with.  There are braggers, bullsh***rs, drama queens, exaggerators, con artists, cynics, hypochondriacs, wannabes, doubters, snobs, sheeple, complainers, know-it-alls, pessimists, pretentious gits, the “in” crowd, the doers, optimists, time-wasters, leaders, helpful, hopeful and many, many more different types of people in our society.  That’s not even including what “class” you are in.  So, it’s not difficult to see why life is complicated – too many differing points of view, personality clashes, misunderstandings.

So where does that leave the majority of people? If you’re anything like me, you’ll be a little lost.  I am a survivor, of that I am positive.  Life has thrown some challenges at me along the way and despite falling at some hurdles, I have always been able to get myself back up and dust myself off.  Why do I do this?  Because it is expected of me!  Insanely, if you ask any of my family or friends they don’t expect me to be anything other than what I already am, but deep down, I know they expect me to be the strong one, the capable one, the survivor.  This leads me to think that it is just me that expects this of me – but why?  Why would I put myself through so many trying situations.  Hence, my feeling of being lost.  I just have absolutely no idea why I behave in this way, when I feel the exact opposite.

Take this blog for example.  I decided to write about my own thoughts because I wanted to “find” myself, to work out “who” I am.  I can hear you asking, why don’t you converse with others you trust to help you to understand?  Why indeed!  Simple answer, I don’t know.  Am I afraid of rejection, or of ridicule?  Do I shy away from sympathy or empathy?  In my head, thoughts are running riot, scrambling to stay in one place long enough for me to make sense of them, and I have no tools to help me sort them out.  So, running riot is what they do!  For now anyways.  The thing I “get” about blogs is that it makes ‘saying things’ seem easier.  Bizarre outlook I know, the potential to have many strangers reading your innermost thoughts versus discussing them in private with people you love and trust.  However, I see the appeal.   I welcome it.  You don’t know me, you have no preconceived ideas about who I am or what I am like.  I don’t know you either.  For all I know, this will never, ever be read by another single soul, but, for now, for me, it’s an appealing outlet.  It’s a place where I can be ‘me’ and talk about the thoughts in my head without feeling the need to curb my words.  Don’t take this personally, but I am not afraid of hurting your feelings if you don’t agree with something I say or believe in.  This is empowering.  This is the way forward.